Hahahahahahahaha...I'm dumb as fuck XD

So I'm stupid period. This whole time up until this morning I was thinking about to talking to Hinote and trying to change are relationship. Oh boy, not ever going to happen, I'm sure he's currently at Grandvalley state with Hikari. I'm just suppose to play stupid like I don't know, you would think someone would of told me. Nope I figured it out all on my own, Hikari's been acting differently I mean after knowing someone for 8 years you know how they act.

It's all the same repeat of last year around this time, and I can't help but laugh at the hole thing. So predictable I'd say but then again I'm the horrible person. Hahahaha he wishes everything was my fault. Oh you made cause you feel like I've been fake or (Harvey Dent) as you would put it. Psst. You ain't no motha fuckin saint. It's just said cause I normally rant and tell my blog home much he get's on my nerves yada yada yada. But I don't even care about him or it anymore, it's all the stupid and some major b.s and I'm involved in the situation. I've been lied to like normal, I've done shit true enough but I'm not the bad guy.

Miscariage or not I still know when love isn't there and not working. He loves me, sike... He thought he loved me true enough and like a dumbass I fell for it but I wish him and whoever he fucks around with next will (like I don't already know what's going to happen I'm just going to play stupid) well. I hope he's happy and stuff, smiles shits a giggles. Cause I'm going to be happy... Sex, love, and all that will come later. I don't even want sex anymore, I don't even think about it like that. Sure enough I'm a fiend but after all the shit it's time for me to go on a 8- to a year no sex line again. Fuck July 31 on down were I lost my spree of absinance over absolutly nothing, (well I thought it was something but I clearly its not now). I think everyone's seen his blog about how I'm a liar but nothing was said people known I've said shit like that but they can re call when I had a smile on my face and say "It's alot better than it use to be, apparently I'm getting a ass and everything." Heeehahahahaha... Laughs and giggles. I just want to say to my child.


Mommy loves you and daddy would of too but, daddy and mommy aren't stable enough to of had you. Mommies body wasn't in the best condition either, I know you were a boy and probably looked just like you're father... My heart is warm every time I think about it. I just want you to know I loved you father with everything it just we're not meant to be together. I'm sure another one like you will be made just not growing inside me. Daddy doesn't just love mommy he loves you're auntie Hikari too. Every month on the day you left me, I'll pick a flower and toss it in the air in memory of you my darling.


Well I know he understands somehow and that makes me even more happy. Well I'm back to playing stupid and such. I've got a job interveiw today at 3, things are looking up I'm just waiting on Gamestop to call me back then I'll really be happy.

Until next time bye bye.

^____^

My weekly report.

Well it September 9th, 2010 and well, I can honestly say this week has been wonderful. I've been sleeping and haven't had any strange dreams accept one. A child came to me a smiled placed on his lips, he hovered over my bed. I wasn't scared of him he just threw me off a little bit ya know? He told me everything happens for a reason and not to feel so upset over not being a suitable host. I knew what he ment, I smiled back at him and he returned it warmly. Kissing my cheek he disappeared and I knew who he was. I woke up tears coming down my face, I felt so much better knowing it wasn't my fault. I've been relieved ever sense and happy, I think about Hinote but I know its not a point in trying to make up or whatever the shit is just going to happen in another 2 weeks.

"No matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know... it ain't workin."

I have a job interveiw for a cookie shop in the mall tomorrow at 3... I'm so excited! Cookies man, wonderful cookies! Dream job I know right, that and gamestop lol In which I applied for. Pyro, Brandon, Stasia, and myself went out their yesterday. It was a good day until, we got to Rods later that night. Will was upset about something for a while but then he was his regular self... I dunno what's been up lately but I'm just trying to be a good friend and look after everyone. I miss Koori and Midori I haven't seen them all week but something tells me I'll see them today.

^_^

Well that's all for now.

Ja ne!

A breif summery of the weekend.

Soooooo, lets see here blog spot.... It's been a long weekend and well I'm doing well. Looking for a jo and trying to get some money together for Youmacon. Somewhere throughtout this weekend Hinoto somehow Hinote and me stop talking once again, its the same process I guess we're not meant to be friends or anything I've accepted that. -shurgs- It's life and all, I just gotta keep pressing on and focus on money and school. I don't have beef with anyone anymore so that makes my life simple and easy.

Alright time to RP with Hikari-chan and write. This is the start of a good monday.