So how's this.
I HATE this and I hate myself more than that.
Dying.
Don't care.
I'm not stuffing my face just to be in a pain so I can leave and make all of YOU happy. I'm not happy living life like this I can't change this at all I'm fuckiin powerless. All I can do is sit back and let everyone decide for ME.
I have no fuckin freedom anymore.
"You're a stubborn bitch."
"You're a brat."
Yeah whatever, says who? People who can do what the fuck they want and not worry about pass out, or losing to much blood.
I can't be a 19 year old.
I can't have fun without constantly watching my back.
So don't sit here and tell me that I'm wrong for how the FUCK I feel.
A future?
Please, I don't even know if I can wake up tomorrow let alone dream of a happy family and marriage.
No one EVER attempts to see it my way, you ask sure but in every sentence I say you make sure to make me sound like a fool.
Well guess what, I will be alone ALL fuckin weekend. I can't leave the house I get sicker, I need to rest, and eat so I can feel better.
NEWS FLASH!
Food, doesn't make me feel better!
It make YOU feel better, I have to eat it.
Plain and fuckin simple.
My head hurts from cryin, and my body hurts just because I'm me. Oh but don't fuckin worry, please don't because I'm drugging the hell out my ass so I can't feel shit.
Not even this fuckin pain in my chest.
You're mad?
You've been mad sense yesterday?
Huh.
Interesting.
You told me you wouldn't leave if I ate, and guess where the FUCK you went.
You left.
So me eating was pointless.
I'm done.
I'm tired of this, I'm so sick of feeling this way.
But as long as I'm alive and eating, that's all YOU care about. Well at least I can make you guys happy, I'll eat.
I pry someone will have mercy on me and but me out my misery.
Here I go crying again.
Oh well, as long as I eat.
Who care?
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