All I can do is breath.

A harsh reality my minds set in, I can't hear any positive words in my head even if I think so hard my brain hurt. Thought everything I feel so alone, friends can only be there for you so much and in the end they have their own lives to lead. I constantly pray my life turns for the better but in the upper room I feel like my calls have been on ignore sense I was 16 years old, I've had hope holding onto it like a child in a sercurity blanket but its all over now. I've lost everything, and nothing all at once.


I had nothing so how can I lose something?


I feel like running away and never looking back, even death is ok to me right about now. I can finally have peace and never have to deal with the troubles of the world. Most would call that cowardly but how can you judge someone if you've never lived a second in their shoes? Crying is a waste of energy, smiling is a false face so people aren't always asking what's wrong. I could answer but not without the consept of being called emo, so why bother. I don't need a lable I need a new life, one where things are ok for me and I don't go to sleep at night crying.

I don't want much, and honestly I'm tired of asking for something I'lll never have, so I lay my cards down and I walked away from this poker game I call life, the only thing I can do is breath and even that's hard right now. I've been sober, I don't want weed or drinks all of that is another illusion of happiness, I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of speaking period, all I want is peace and in my new form and additude I doubt I'll get it but its pretty damn close.

All I can do now, is breath...