Have you ever just have one of those lives where when you wake up and you wonder why you're awake or even alive. Ever sense this year started that's how I've felt, the world is a sick place and god seems like he's a sadist and every move you make he knows your going to fail and lets you do it constantly. Every choice that's made is even more worst than the last, I feel like I'm not ment to be happy at all. I can't remember a time I was truely happy, even in relationships I knew not to be happy because it wouldn't last long. Nothing in this world last, absoultly nothing.
As the days go by more and more things happen that breaks my sanity and causes me to question if I'm even human anymore. Today, I got kicked out the hosue with no, job, no money and no means to care for myself. For what, just because my aunt/guardian didn't want me to leave the house for no reason and all and I wasn't about to just accept something as stupid as that. So if I can't live by her rules, get th fuck out. Dad's takin me in but like I said I've been looking for a job for the longest and I haven't found one what so ever. I hope this Sam's club job still comes through but it's not looking like it. I've even prayed to god asking him to help out just a little, it seems like my calls are still being ignored. Religion is useless, you have to do right and be faithful for what, so you can only get what you deserve only half the time, and you sit around and people who don't deserve to breath are happy, fuck that.
I've asked for love, and a job haven't got either only worse so you know what I'm done. I'm done to done with life. I give up, life wins. As I've said before, all I can do is breath.
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