11-13-2010

Sooner or Later....

By Miyako Takana

Staring into the night sky her face showed no emotion, the sky was a dusk blue color as it quickly turned darker every minute. Sitting on a roof, as the wind blew Tsuki just stared off into the darkness. Her breathing steady and her eyes focused as she leaned against a wall her legs pressed up to her chest. Her blue hair was done and blowing constantly in the wind. Her purple eyes were flashing with different kinds of emotions, she could control it anymore. It seemed like everything was falling to pieces and she couldn't understand what could of happened. Inside herself she felt something dark growing constantly, sleeping at night was pointless she'd just wake up tired and in pain. The things in her dreams grew more frighting everything she closed her eyes. Tsuki breathing hitched as she held tighter to herself, even her best friend Kai couldn't help her at this point. He was off with school and bettering himself, with new people and new things to do.

“W-what do I do?” She whispered questioning. Before Kai had left they promised they'd still love each other more than anything but, as time flew by. Kai's love wavered from hers, he said that they didn't see each other like normal and he was attracted to another girl. Tsuki was understanding for the most part but it still hurt like hell to let him go, and sense then things hasn't been the same with them. Words unsaid, feelings hidden, and of course Tsuki didn't know how to act around him, he had a girlfriend but everything that they were it was nothing less than natural for her to be. So she found herself texing him every now and again knowing she couldn't stop how she felt towards him, she did the best thing she knew how to do, distance herself. Break was coming around quickly, and it just so happened Kai's new girlfriend lived in the same town they did.

Crushed.

That's all she felt as the days rolled around, so alone and crushed. She really didn't have any real friend, like she would of hoped for. People she talked to and hug out with but no one that really understood or knew her. Her mind wondered to what was she going to tell Kai when he asked to see her.

'Don't do it to yourself, it's not worth it.'

Was the words she heard softly in her head and she let out a long, hard sigh. This had to be the worst ending of the year. Luckily enough she found a job for break to keep her somewhat busy but in a week she had to quick school was starting back up and her grades meant everything to her. She wanted to have perfect grades this year so Kai's college would except her and she could be close to him,

things don't always go as planned I guess.

There wasn't much to look forward to now, she could feel the tears brimming in her eyes as the moon rose. Sniffing she stared at it, slightly making a wish that the pain she felt now would be worth it, someway or somehow she could be happy again. Deep down inside she knew the only way that'd happen.

Her chances we're slim to non at this point.

Tsuki found herself laughing as tears poured down her face harder, she should of never told him yes back in February then this pain and confused feeling would of never happened. He made the feeling of love, and never being alone such a wonderful drug but sadly there is no rehab clinic out there for it, only a constant pain of failure and aching left behind in its wake.

“Mmmh?” She whimpered in question as her phone vibrated. Opening it she looked at the text.

'On the phone with Natsumi.'

She felt her heart sink closing it she sighed pulling a cigarette out her pocket she stood lighting it quickly. She knew when break started her soul would be crused but, all she had time for was work and crying it was something she'd get use to. Pay check she planned buy video games to keep her more busy and not shuttering at the thought of his touch, or the feel of his lips. Staring into the moon, she spoke her voice low and tears still in her eyes.

“I guess you're love is all I've got to show for now, ne?” With those words she begin to walk toward the stairs exhaling the smoke a tear falling from her cheek following the smoke she left behind.

End of chapter 1.