Last night/Morning

It's 8am, and lastnight was the worst night for me. I tossed and turned, I dreamed, I prayed, I cried. I begged god to just make it go away, so kinda of way any kind of way. Like most times he never answers my prayers. I can't tell you how much my chest hurts, and not because I'm sick. I can hear in the back of my mind, a voice saying "Give in to me." and at this point I have no choice. I'm weak, I ach and there is no one that can make it go away. My two bestfriend are dating (once again) shared a wonderful night with one another and well, I'm here wishing I had a gun to shoot myself in the fuckin head.

Time cure all wounds you say?

What happens when old wounds aren't healed and someone keeps making them bigger? Then what? Have a saying for that too?

Loving two people who love each other way more then the could ever love you, no matter how much they say is a waste of time and I wish I could stop suddenly but love is love, and unfortunately I can't.

I should of left my heart behind when I had to chance.

Dear God, I begging you make it stop.... I'll accept being numb I just never want to feel again...

Whoever is listening to me, just make it stop... I'll give anything just not to feel, or think anymore... even my soul.