The days are going by... way to slow.

It's been like 4 days sense break started and I'm so ready for this break to be over... I have never felt more alone then these for days. Without weed I'd of been went over the hill. I miss everything I use to share with him.... Now looking back on it, I was scared and I had every right to be but I wanted him, and I wanted him bad.

I didn't know how much being hurt could make you suppress something you want... It's like being in rehab now. There's a line there and I forbidden to cross it. The drug I need is right over that line but it's out of my hands. You throat burns, your body is shivering imagining the intaking in the forbidden fruit. I swear it was one of the sweetest drugs I know, and every night when I rest my head its like clock work all I can do is dream about it.

Ugh.

It's frustrating really, to go back to no sex, no love, and just plan out no. I don't even Asian watch anymore in fact anything attractive or fuckable makes me plan the fuck out mad. So I stay away from it and if I do have to deal with it I'm high so I'm good. 'From dusk til dawn I just wanna stay gone....' That's my motto. Fried 27/7, Chi is constantly thinking of her daddy and that worries me, alot. So, I'm hoping nothing just pops up on me and I'm to blame maybe I should ask questions... Nah. I don't care.

I swear unless, go send me my wonderful mate/lover I'm done with looking. I don't want a boyfriend, a fuck buddy, non of that shit. Absolutely finished.

Hinote will probably be my last.... Sex doesn't even sound sexy anymore... it just makes me mad.

I'm all outta whack.

Well tonight Bito family reunion... OMG, why do I have a strange familiar feeling about this....

>_> Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssse let me be wrong.